Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.
Your team: Atlanta Falcons
Your 2013 record: 4-12. Really dodged a bullet there. You and I were nearly saddled with the burden of having to watch Matt Ryan lose in the playoffs for the fourth year in a row! PHEW! Glad we didn't have to go though that exercise again. You know how analysts say a playoff game contains many "intriguing subplots"? This is not true when the Falcons play in a playoff game. There is no intrigue. There are no subplots. There is only one plot and that plot is, "How will they lose and how unwatchable can they make the process of losing?"
Your co…
In March, A-Rod seemed like a sure bet to be a SHOTY nominee. Yes, here he is … but the journey to this point was a circuitous one. Alex Rodriguez
Broke unicorn's hearts.
Kissed a mirror.
Met a Spitzer madam.
Dated alleged actress.
Clutched!
Centaured. …
It's fantasy draft time, which means it's time for us to sit down with Yahoo's Andy Behrens for part two of our annual fantasy preview. All killer, no filler. Behrens and I go through every team in the AFC and highlight changes at all the skill positions, plus talk about average draft round values for most players. We also make fun of Chris Henry's death. After going through all these teams with Behrens, I have come to the conclusion that there are wayyyy too many teams out there that have no useful fantasy players of any sort. You don't want any Bucs on your team. Or Seahawks. Or Raiders. Or wideouts from Denver, Cleveland, or 50 other teams. It's one big, gigantic pile of suck out there. You've been warned. This week's Deadcast is available f…
data-mm-id=”_p5y4muj2g”>The San Francisco 49ers were the surprise of the NFL this year, compiling a 13-3 record and earning homefield advantage throughout January. A good portion of the audience spent week after week waiting for the inevitable other foot to drop. For Jimmy Garoppolo to look like a deer in the headlights. For the defense to show signs of vulnerability. Believers wanted to see them do it in the playoffs in order to believe even more. They wanted to see how Kyle Shanahan's team responded to a do-or-die test after a week off. The bye has tripped up good team and elite teams alike as the rust sets in and tanks the value of a pristine season. But these Niners didn't look rusty. They didn't look rattled. They didn't look tight. They looked like the best te…
data-mm-id=”_vbm5767ed”>Michael Jordan retired from basketball on Oct. 6, 1993. It was stunning. Hard to process. The Chicago Bulls superstar was riding a three-peat and in his prime at the age of 30. Anyone who has seen Space Jam knows what happened next. He tried to follow in his father's baseball footsteps and suited up for the Birmingham Barons, a minor league affiliate of the Chicago White Sox. While golfing with Bill Murray and Larry Bird, he was sucked into a cartoon dimension and forced to play a game of hoops for the fate of the Looney Tunes.OK, that last part is taking some creative license. Jordan suited up in 127 games, hitting .202 and struggling to find any type of power. People were very interested, but way more interested in watching him play basketball, the sport …
data-mm-id=”_zvgjkp7p6″>If you haven't watched the true crime series Tiger King on Netflix yet, I'm really not sure what you even did this weekend. While quarantined on Sunday, my girlfriend and I blitzed all seven episodes over the course of about 10 hours. It was a fascinating look at the psychopaths who collect big cats and the craziness they get up to. You'll basically be trying to decide which one of the main characters you hate the least. It's fascinating television. The star of the show is the man known as Joe Exotic. He's just your average openly-gay, gun-toting, drug-using, big cat-loving polygamist zookeeper who ran for president in 2016. Spoiler alert — that was given away in the trailer — Joe went to prison thanks to a hamfisted murder-for-hire p…
data-mm-id=”_ntx7tyaed”>Max Scherzer is done with Major League Baseball's owners crying poverty and demanding steep compensation decreases for players. On Wednesday night, the three-time Cy Young Award winner ripped MLB's owners on Twitter and claimed there was "no reason to engage with MLB in any further compensation reductions."Here's his Tweet: pic.twitter.com/nWKtqGSQo4— Max Scherzer (@Max_Scherzer) May 28, 2020The Washington Nationals ace make the argument that players have already agreed to pay reductions in the form of prorated salaries. That deal was done in March. Now the owners want to slash salaries dramatically. Additionally, he seems to believe MLB's claims of financial distress are overblown and wants the league to prove it by making that i…
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data-mm-id=”_8sjzr6yv5″>Vince Carter's basketball playing days were officially done with after the NBA announced only 22 teams would be heading to Orlando for the season's restart, leaving the Atlanta Hawks out to dry. We don't know when Carter will head into the next stage of his life, but it appears clear what that stage is: sports media. Carter has been preparing for this next step for a few years, making appearances on ESPN, TNT, and Summer League broadcasts. He also has his own podcast with The Ringer, where he announced his retirement last week. He's comfortable on camera and can communicate his extensive knowledge and experience of the game articulately. That's a rare combination among professional athletes, and one that could make Carter quite a bit of …
data-mm-id=”_nisjo2wv1″>If we know anything about Adam Gase and Matt Patricia, it's that they're terrible head coaches. We have multiple years of evidence proving that, and both have had their teams open this season at 0-2. The pair is now locked in a battle to see who can earn the title of "Worst Head Coach in the NFL."When Gase was hired by the New York Jets prior to the 2019 season, we already knew he wasn't a great head coach. The Miami Dolphins went 10-6 during his first season in South Beach back in 2016, but followed that up by going 6-10 and 7-9. Gase left a mess behind that necessitated a full-scale rebuild. In his first year with the Jets, Gase posted a 7-9 record and seemed to step on landmines and create controversy everywhere. This offseason the Ja…